Living together unmarried: registered partnership, cohabitation agreement or…?

The Backer family is large. Grandma Cathrien and Grandpa Dirk are in their late seventies and recently married. They and the (grand)children from their respective families occasionally need the help of a notary. You can read about their recognisable situations here.

Living together unmarried: registered partnership, cohabitation agreement or…?

‘We’re moving in together!’ Karlijn cheered to her mother on the phone. After her divorce she had started dating, and before long she had bumped into a lovely man.
‘Congratulations, sweetheart!’ Cathrien replied. ‘How exciting. Do you already know how you’ll arrange it formally later on?’
‘Well, first just get used to each other for a while, I think. Then we’ll see what comes next!’

Cathrien wasn’t so sure about that. She told Dirk about Karlijn’s plans. ‘I understand that getting married is a step too far. But surely they have to make some kind of agreement?’
Dirk started googling and came to the conclusion that there are four ways of living together.
‘Haha, they call it living “in sin” when you haven’t arranged anything. The second option is drawing up a cohabitation agreement. And the other two amount to the same thing: registered partnership or marriage.’
In 1998 the registered partnership was introduced for non-heterosexual couples. They then had the same rights as married partners. With the introduction of same-sex marriage it actually became superfluous.

They went to talk to Karlijn. After all, the chosen form of living together has consequences in the event of death. Dirk: ‘When you live together “in sin” or have a cohabitation agreement, you are not automatically each other’s heir. With a registered partnership and marriage you are.’
Cathrien added: ‘You can, however, stipulate in a cohabitation agreement that joint possessions go to the surviving partner. Because suppose you buy a house and furniture soon, but your boyfriend passes away. Without a cohabitation agreement, his family is the heir and not you. They could simply turn up on your doorstep to claim his half of your house and belongings. With a quick fix in the form of a cohabitation agreement you prevent that. Or by getting married, of course,’ she said with a wink.

Karlijn discussed it with her boyfriend. He had long since figured that a cohabitation agreement was a good idea. ‘And if it clicks for long enough, we’ll do a registered partnership, darling!’ he had joked. ‘Unless you really want to wear a white dress. Then I’ll just ask you to marry me!’