Mediation
Divorce
Mediation in a separation: making clear agreements together
Whether you live together, are married or have a registered partnership: separating often brings many emotions and practical questions. Disappointment, sadness and incomprehension frequently play a major role — especially when there are children or when one of the partners has a new relationship. At the same time, important decisions have to be made about the future.
Think of questions such as: who will stay in the home? How will the care of the children be divided? What agreements will you make about maintenance, joint assets, debts, pension and other financial matters?
Although some couples can make these agreements together, independent guidance often proves valuable in practice. Mediation helps you reach clear and workable agreements in a respectful way.
Why choose mediation?
In mediation, you work together on solutions that are acceptable to both parties. This is often more pleasant and less burdensome than each engaging your own lawyer and ending up opposite each other. Especially when children are involved, it is important to be able to keep communicating well with each other after the separation.
A mediator guides the conversations, safeguards the interests of both parties and helps to record the agreements properly from a legal and financial perspective. When a home, a business or other notarial matters have to be arranged, a notary-mediator can offer additional advantages.
A specialised notary-mediator has knowledge of, among other things:
- divorce law;
- maintenance;
- pension division;
- division of assets and debts;
- agreements regarding the home;
- parenting plans;
- wills and other notarial documents.
In addition, a mediator is trained in guiding conversations in which emotions can often run high.
How does mediation work?
During the first meeting, we look at your personal situation and which agreements need to be made. Urgent matters, such as housing or financial contributions, can also be discussed immediately.
Once agreement has been reached on all topics, the agreements are recorded in a settlement agreement. This includes agreements on the home, spousal maintenance, children, pension and the division of assets.
If a notarial deed is required, this can be arranged immediately. This offers additional certainty, because the agreements made are legally binding and, if necessary, enforceable.
Mediation offers peace of mind and clarity, and helps you move forward together in a good way.
We can help with the following
Frequently asked questions
Seeking solutions together is a better basis for the future than each party trying to get the most out of it with their own adviser. Especially when there are children, people remain connected to each other for life through these children. And then it is pleasant if their parents can still get along reasonably well...
Whether you live together or are married, the problems and emotions are the same when you separate. There is often disappointment and incomprehension, especially if one of the partners has a new love interest. And in that situation a number of important agreements have to be made.
For example, you have to agree with each other on who will stay in the house, how the care of the children will be divided, how the costs of the house and of looking after the children will be divided, the division of the car and belongings, payment of the children's costs and much more.
Although it is quite possible to arrange everything by mutual consultation, in many cases it is important to obtain further advice on the legal consequences. In many cases, notarial or private deeds will have to be drawn up to actually settle matters.
Many people cannot or do not want to make all of the above decisions alone and call in the help of an expert.
Because the notary has to be involved anyway for the division of the house and/or the division of the shares in the private limited company (B.V.), people often opt for a notary-mediator (Mfn or VMN) who specialises in divorces and separations. This notary-mediator is absolutely impartial and is not only specialised in divorce law, spousal maintenance and pensions, but has also learned to deal with the often intense emotions involved in a separation.
The notary-mediator can also draw up a parenting plan and, in that case, give attention to the problems that may arise for the children.
An advantage is that any amendment of the wills can be arranged immediately if desired.
In the first meeting with the mediator, attention is paid to your personal situation and the background of the divorce. An inventory is also made of the matters on which agreements need to be made. And if there are things that urgently need to be arranged (for example housing, contribution to costs), work on these can start straight away.
Once agreements have been made on all topics (housing, spousal maintenance, division of assets, care and child maintenance, and pension), they are set out in a settlement agreement. The notary-mediator will draw up a notarial deed of this. The advantage is that the deed is binding evidence. In addition, with a notarial deed the financial agreements can be enforced directly by a bailiff, without the involvement of a judge or lawyer, in case these agreements are not complied with.
