Mediation

Seeking solutions together is a better basis for the future than each party trying to get the most out of it with their own adviser. Especially when there are children, people remain connected to each other for life through these children. And then it is pleasant if their parents can still get along reasonably well...

Whether you live together or are married, the problems and emotions are the same when you separate. There is often disappointment and incomprehension, especially if one of the partners has a new love interest. And in that situation a number of important agreements have to be made.

For example, you must agree with each other on who will continue to live in the house, how the care of the children will be divided, how the costs of the house and of the care of the children will be divided, the division of the car and belongings, payment of the children's costs, and much more.

Although it is quite possible to arrange everything by mutual consultation, in many cases it is important to obtain further advice on the legal consequences. In many cases, notarial or private deeds will have to be drawn up to actually settle matters.
Many people cannot or do not want to make all of the above decisions alone and call in the help of an expert.

You can of course each hire your own lawyer, but if you are still ‘on speaking terms’ it is advisable to go to a mediator together.

Because the notary has to be involved anyway for the division of the house and/or the division of the shares in the B.V., people often opt for a notary-mediator (Mfn or VMN) who specialises in divorces and separations.

This notary-mediator is absolutely impartial and is not only specialised in divorce law, maintenance and pensions, but has also learned to deal with the often intense emotions involved in a separation. The notary-mediator can also draw up a parenting plan and, in that case, give attention to the problems that may arise for the children.

An advantage is that any amendment of the wills can be arranged immediately if desired.

In the first meeting with the mediator, attention is paid to your personal situation and the background of the divorce. An inventory is also made of the matters on which agreements need to be made.

And if there are matters that need to be arranged urgently (for example housing or a contribution to costs), work on these can start right away.
Once agreements have been made on all topics (housing, spousal maintenance, division of assets, care of and child maintenance for the children, and pension), they are recorded in a settlement agreement.

The notary-mediator will draw up a notarial deed for this. The advantage is that the deed serves as binding evidence. A notarial deed also allows the financial agreements to be enforced by a bailiff directly, without the involvement of a judge or lawyer, should these agreements not be honoured.