{"id":1755,"date":"2026-05-29T09:18:14","date_gmt":"2026-05-29T09:18:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www2.ellenslentze.nl\/?p=1755"},"modified":"2026-10-08T09:55:29","modified_gmt":"2026-10-08T07:55:29","slug":"scheiden-en-dan-een-mediator-kan-helpen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ellenslentze.nl\/en\/scheiden-en-dan-een-mediator-kan-helpen\/","title":{"rendered":"Divorcing, and then what? A mediator can help"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\n\t\t\t\t\tNews and background\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t

\n\t\t\t\tDivorcing, and then what? A mediator can help\t\t\t<\/h1>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n<\/section>\n\n\n
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The Backer family is large. Grandma Cathrien and Grandpa Dirk are in their late seventies and recently married. They and the (grand)children from their respective families occasionally need the help of a notary. You can read about their recognisable situations here.<\/em><\/p>\n

Anyone going through a divorce already has enough on their mind. If you are still on speaking terms and want to work things out together, a mediator can guide the divorce process.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2018Well, my neighbours are getting divorced too,\u2019 Karlijn said to her mother, disappointed. \u2018The summer holiday was the deciding factor, and Amy \u2013 my neighbour \u2013 immediately engaged a mediator. I asked her whether they wouldn't be better off with a lawyer each, because they were at each other's throats after that holiday.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018And why a mediator, then?\u2019 Cathrien asked.<\/p>\n

\u2018They want to arrange things well for the children together. The heated holiday arguments faded somewhat into the background and now they are reasonably on speaking terms. Amy had expected that they could each tell their own story separately, but in a mediation process everything happens together.\u2019<\/p>\n

Basic conditions<\/strong><\/p>\n

The basic conditions for mediation are: confidentiality, voluntariness and commitment. The mediator must also be independent. That is why the parties always see each other together, so that the mediator is not influenced by either of them. It is also the reason why the first contact usually goes through an office assistant. An agreement is soon drawn up stating that you must have the will to work things out together.<\/p>\n

Discussion leader<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u2018Are you glad in hindsight that you also had a mediator for the divorce?\u2019 Cathrien asked.<\/p>\n

\u2018Yes,\u2019 said Karlijn. \u2018But it is important that there is a click. And I had to get used to the fact that the mediator is in effect only a discussion leader and does not make decisions. With a lawyer you can focus entirely on your own arguments if you totally disagree. But we came out of it well, and with mutual respect. That is what we wanted for the children too. Now for my neighbours!\u2019<\/p>\n

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